Musings of a Mother
by Arysthae
Summary: Being the mother of a precocious child can be difficult. Deryn experiences all the woes and delights of having a child and a job at the same time in a society which doesn't understand. Luckily, Alek, Jaspert, Ma Sharp, Volger and Dr. Barlow are along for the ride, as well. Rated T, just in case. Chapters/Drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

** Musings of a Mother**

Deryn Sharp was ill. This was nothing new, everyone was ill sometime in their lives, but Deryn had never quite been this ill. It was strange, she seemed to be constantly vomiting in the mornings and she seemed to be eating far more than usual;. It garnered some strange looks from Alek, who ate very little at breakfast, but remained unremarked upon.

Never in her 10 years as Captain-Lieutenant Deryn Sharp of the _Belphegor_ had she seen symptoms like this before. She wondered briefly whether it was something womanly, but she doubted it. Her mother and Dr Barlow didn't really seem to have this kind of disease. At least, they didn't seem to show it.

Deryn frowned as she rubbed her arm; she had spent a lot of her life acting a boy, but surely, now that the whole world knew that she was a women, if this kind of thing was normal, someone would tell her?

The whole world knowing that she was a woman was still slightly new to her. She had revealed herself as a woman in 1923, so that she and Alek could get married. The world had been shocked, especially since her involvement in the war was so large and that she had earned the title of Captain-Lieutenant and been given a war medal for bravery by the First Lord of Admiralty himself.

Being a woman had removed some of her privileges. Thanks to providence (or a forceful woman she liked to call Nora Darwin Barlow), Deryn had not been stripped of her title but had been banned from rising any higher. She had also retained her medal but had been urged to resign and take a quieter role as a boffin in the Royal Darwinist Society again.

She and Alek had tried it, being Darwinist fabrications experts for a few months but Deryn had been unable to stick to the monotony of it and the fact that it was all so dull. Deryn had interest in the threads of life, she was positively fascinated with them, not in the least for saving her lives on several occasions, but she found that she lacked the ingenuity to make really useful fabrications. Hers were novelties, nothing more. And she had always suited being a soldier.

Jaspert had pulled some strings and she had managed to reapply to the army and had done much and seen so much of the world. Alek had managed to stay with the Darwinist Society however, and his fabrications were brilliant, despite his love of tinkering with Clanker machinery.

Volger had taken to politics and one summer, the two Austrians had gone to Switzerland with the significantly smaller airship, _Saludos _and reclaimed the castle and the several gold bars that were strategically scattered around the Swiss glacier.

_That _had gone a significant way to restore some of Alek's lost wealth. With it, the two had bought a townhouse in London. It was relatively large, but they often rented it out to others, as the two lovers were often at opposite ends of the world, following their dreams.

Now of course, Deryn was handing in her proverbial sock. She sighed. It had been the hardest decision she had made, but she was quitting the army again. She was getting older, and Alek had talked of plans of breeding an airship from scratch with all sorts of species to make it better than ever, larger and maybe even suited for commercial use as well. Of course, he had to go and make this plan even bigger by using Clanker machinery in it. It was ambitious, but Deryn knew, that with all of the tension between the two cultures at the moment, it would go a long way to restoring trust.

It was a good project to dedicate herself to. If only she could make her heart believe that.

As Deryn's stomach rumbled again, urging her to eat even more, Deryn snapped. She needed a meeting with Doctor Barlow about all of this. She grabbed her jacket and started looking for the Omnibus timetable.

(X)

As she walked into the Royal Zoological Society's main corridor, she was met with chaos. A fabricated bird was screeching very loudly and bumping in stacks of paper, which burst onto the floors, covering the carpet in blinding white. In the middle of it all, was Dr. Barlow's loris. It was happily babbling random words, like a a spooked message lizard and Deryn was rather confused by it all.

To her relief, Dr. Barlow quickly showed up on the scene. The loris was quiet as soon as Dr. Barlow arrived and the bird swooped and landed on her shoulder. Behind Dr Barlow was a positive army of cleaners, who looked annoyed by the amount of paper that seemed to cover the floor. They silently got to work and Dr Barlow turned to face Deryn with a look of surprise, which was quickly hidden by delight.

"Hello Deryn!" she said, as she waded her way through paper. "Come on, let's go to my office. This place is far too messy to have a proper chat."

Deryn followed obediently and they were soon in Dr Barlow's fabulous study. The chairs were as light as they were aboard the Leviathan and the whole room was decorated with nautilus shell and honey bee motifs.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" asked Dr. Barlow as she put on the kettle.

Deryn smiled. "You presented me with a job offer when we were in America. I took it then denied it again. I was wondering if there was still an opening."

Dr Barlow frowned and settled herself into a chair. She had aged well, her grey hair delicately tied into a bun, which was still covered by a bowler hat, this tikme in a shade of plum.

"That would be difficult, Deryn. You being a woman was a terrible shock to the country and of course, brought a great deal of scandal and a lot of government scrambling to cover up any faults. I once refused you the job because of the scandal it would cause, and it would appear that I may have to refuse you again. We have no positions as of yet. If Alek's idea could blossom, there would be a possibility of being able to hire you, but as it is, we have to spaces free. You being my assistant would look odd, what with your Army credentials, and as it is, I already have another."

Deryn sighed. This was rather frustrating. "I'm only 25, yet the Army wants to push me out of there for being a woman. No one is quite comfortable with the fact that the Captain of an airship is a woman, even though it has been revealed that several other women hid their identities; no one quite reached my rank. No one was as _good _as I am. So they want me out. And I have nowhere else to go."

Dr Barlow merely lifted her shoulders indicatively and the bird fabrication, from its perch near the ceiling, screeched mournfully. The kettle whistled and Dr Barlow quickly handed Deryn a cup of tea.

"You cannot say that you have nowhere else to go. You made good connections with a lot of people, you could consider being a diplomat." said Dr Barlow as she stirred her tea.

Deryn snorted. "Me? A diplomat. I might believe it if it were Alek you were suggesting this to, but me? I'd insult everyone in the fist 10 minutes."

Dr Barlow shook her head with a smirk. "Not true. You make friends easily and your demeanour puts people at ease. If you reined in your manners a little, I'm sure you would be great. In any case, you are undertaking a diplomatic mission in a few weeks, are you not?"

Deryn never failed to be amazed by Dr. Barlow's information network. No doubt, she had weeded it out of Alek. This mission was to the Ottoman Empire, to cement the links between the countries. There had been treaties between them to ensure peace, but now, a diplomatic party wanted to make an official alliance between the two countries. They had wanted someone who had good ties with the current government run by the Committee for Union and Progress and hers had been one of the more trustworthy names. She was to be there in the official signings of all of the documents and to smooth out any issues as she was trusted by both sides. No doubt, Dr Barlow counted this as being a diplomat in her eyes.

"Yes, but I'm not involved in anything of importance." protested Deryn.

Dr Barlow smirked again. "I'd say you were of importance. How else would the two parties trust each other enough? You vouching for both sides is a big deal, Deryn. The suffragettes are going ballistic over it. They see it as a huge step of progress; a woman being so key in governmental processes."

Deryn felt herself blushing awkwardly. She wasn't that important.

To her surprise, Dr Barlow put down the tea and looked Deryn in the eye. "There's something else, isn't there? You've been dreadfully preoccupied this whole time. You don't even seem to be interested in the chaos that was in the atrium. I know you, Deryn, you should have been curious about it, instead you docilely proceeded here with me, not a single question asked. What's the matter with you?"

Deryn let out a breath. "I'm feeling strangely ill Doctor. I've been throwing up near every morning, yet feel like I'm eating for two people. I've been having these queer aches everywhere that go away too quickly for me to be able to do anything about them in time. I don't know what's wrong with me, no one I know has been having these symptoms and my moods seem to change all the time! Is this part of being woman, because if it is, I'm not happy about it!" she finished, with a huff.

Dr Barlow was looking at her queerly. "Have you been carving certain things you've never wanted to eat before?" she asked, in a strangled voice.

Deryn looked downwards; now the Doctor mentioned it, yes, she had. The day before she'd wanted bananas with cream, of all things! And the week before, she'd been on the verge of asked for pickled mangos at the fancy restaurant Alek had taken her to for their wedding anniversary! "Yes..." she asked herself.

The Doctor merely smiled. "Have you put on any weight Deryn?"

Deryn moved back a little, now she felt self-conscious. Was it that noticeable? She put on a few pounds these last weeks, which made her wonder a little, but it had hardly surprised her. Everyone had said that she was far too skinny. "Yes!" she said, feeling affronted.

The Doctor merely smirked now. 'Have you and Alek had sex in the past month or so?"

Deryn was sure her whole skin was now the shade of a strawberry. She could feel her body weight slipping lower down into the chair. She wished the ground would swallow her up. "And how is that your business, Doctor?" she asked, trying to keep a little of her dignity about her.

The Doctor leant forward again. '"It's every bit my business, because it may be part of your feelings. Now have you or haven't you?"

Deryn was now sure that she was going to burn up into little ashes. "Yes," she whispered.

The Doctor nodded, pensively. 'When?" she asked, sharply.

Deryn murmured again, "Two months ago."

The Doctor's face burst into a wide smile. "Definitely. Deryn my dear, I think it's safe to say, you are pregnant!"

If her face had been like a strawberry a minute ago, it was the same colour as snow now. Pregnant? That wouldn't do at all. "No..." whispered Deryn.

The Doctor's smile faded. "Is that not good, Deryn? A child is something to be pleased about!"

"Most of the time..." agreed Deryn. "But not now. I have a mission! I can't be pregnant on the mission!"

The Doctor immediately straightened. "I have to say, it did slip my mind. Yes, that wouldn't be a good idea. Extra weight on an airship? I think not. Also, a pregnant ambassador, with mood swings would be...unpleasant."

"There is no way...to postpone it? Get rid of it?" asked Deryn, her voice hushed now. Alek would never forgive her if he heard this, but the country needed her, and he wouldn't need to know if she could get rid of it.

The Doctor frowned. 'There are methods. But they are not safe and often end up killing the mother. And in any case, the Church does not allow it."

Deryn felt annoyed. "What the Church doesn't know won't kill them. The lack of an alliance between the two countries could prove to be fatal."

Dr Barlow scowled. "I will not allow it Deryn! Death of the mother is 70% possibility! 70% is too much! If it were 50%...I might have allowed it, but I am not risking your life on a very thin thread. You must cancel this mission!"

Deryn growled. "I can't! I simply can't! It's all arranged in a month's time! Everyone's prepared! I can't just postpone the whole thing! I'm not that special!"

Dr Barlow looked similarly frustrated. "Deryn. You are not that important, as you have just said. There were several other people who were on good terms with the Committee. Send Alek. Send Count Volger. Send me, if you must! You cannot go yourself!"

Deryn scowled, she had prepared for this mission for days! She would go on this mission, it was her mission! She had been chosen out of all of the others! "Alek was not nearly so friendly with them, they barely trusted any the Austrians. And you are needed here Dr. Barlow, what of your fabrications? No, it must be I! Perhaps, the negotiations can be sped up a little. What difference, apart from weight does it make that I will be pregnant?"

Dr Barlow leant her chin in her hands. "Mood swings, my dear girl. If you cannot control your own emotions, how will you be able to control the whole rooms' emotions?"

Deryn rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Is that all, doctor? I've controlled my mood swings for several years now; I can do it for another five months."

When the doctor looked unconvinced, Deryn begged. "Please doctor, I have to go! I'll drive myself insane if I coop myself up in a house for five months without doing anything! I will break things and go up the barking bend! You have to help me! I cannot sit here doing nothing! I can't be a housewife, doctor! You understand that, what if you were forced to stay out of what you loved because you were pregnant? I bet that you didn't stop going to work until you were at least a month till pregnancy!"

Dr Barlow looked pensive. "You speak to me, Deryn. You are correct, I did not stop work at all. And if anything, this is a fancy puzzle to solve. Leave it with me, Deryn. You shall go to the ball!" she said, with a dainty laugh, that didn't sound like the laugh from a woman of 48.

So Deryn left the office, feeling vaguely confused and pensive as to how to proceed.

(X)

Deryn's instructions came in a letter a few days. That was why she was currently with Jaspert, attempting to bargain with him to make the _Minotaur _the transport vessel from England to Istanbul.

"No, Deryn," he said again, sounding rather like a parrot, "I have duties here! The _Minotaur_ patrols the borders of Scotland, that's our premises! It's the _Leviathan_ and other ships that gallivant off overseas!" Jasper took his duties as coxswain and navigator of the ship far too seriously.

"Please Jaspert! I need you to help me! This mission is important and I need someone on my side while I'm pregnant, Jaspert!"

He growled under his breath then brightened. "Does Alek even know yet?" he said, looking happy at the prospect of being able to blackmail her into going away.

Deryn smiled sweetly. 'No, not yet, but if you tell him before I do, I swear to god, I will tell our mother of the incident in July '13, where you stole her jewels to impress a young lady you entertained in town, eh?"

Jaspert's eyes widened dramatically. "Deryn...you wouldn't? My own little sister would rat me out to Mam?" Mam was the ultimate treat. Ma Sharp was still terrifying, even now. If anything, from Jaspert's previous accounts, her strength had increased. Deryn still hadn't seen her since she first joined the Air force.

Deryn nodded seriously, while smirking underneath. "Of course I would, Jaspert. I told you, this mission is important. You have to petition to get the Minotaur as the guiding beastie to the Ottoman Empire. For me, brother."

He pushed his hand over his face. "For you, and no one else, sister. But in return, you have to promise to tell Alek before we leave. Don't put Alek through what I went through with Miranda."

Personally, Deryn had found that incident funny. Jaspert's wife had kept the fact that she was pregnant secret from Jaspert, who had been flying continuously for about four months. So when he had returned, he'd been greeted by a baby, to which he promptly fainted and had to be taken to hospital for the bump on his head. When Alek and Deryn had heard that news, they'd laughed in hysterics for an hour straight.

But she promised Jaspert and left with a smile on her face. He didn't say how much time before they left she'd have to tell Alek before...

(X)

Alek threw his arms around Deryn, as she adjusted her naval jacket. She'd bought a new one that was tremendously large, and made sure that it would have enough fabric to let out of the hem when she started getting too large. The military had come to a compromise about the duration of stay. They would be there for four months, instead of the planned five and they would drop down over land in England just in time for her delivery date. But she still hadn't told Alek, and all of these measures were deadly secret, to him.

As they embraced, Deryn whispered in his ear, "I have something to tell you."

He looked up in surprise. Deryn (to his chagrin) was still taller than Alek. "What is it, Deryn?" he asked.

She bit her lip, this kidn of secret would be best to just say it directly. "Alek, I'm pregnant." She blurted out.

He blinked. "What?" he asked softly. "How long have you known?" he asked, looking excited.

"A month." She said, bluntly. He stopped in his tracks and threw her a disappointed look, which made her insides turn.

"A month?" he asked, his voice slightly distraught. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

She looked away. "Because I'm due a week after we land back home after the mission."

At this, he grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at his face. "Deryn! You can't go! You have to stay here! You just can't go! What if the landing is delayed? What...what if the baby comes early? On the ship itself?" he asked, looking upset. "What... what if I'm not there with you?"

Deryn would have replied that it wasn't that important that he be there, but he looked absolutely shattered. "It won't. I tell you, I won't." she stated flatly.

"But what if it does?" he answered, his voice as firm as steel.

"It won't." reiterated Deryn.

He scowled and turned away to go back inside, and Deryn felt her heart break a little, but looked surprised as he came back with a lot of towels and mini kettle heater. He shoved them into her hands. "You're taking those with you. I don't care if they add too much weight; you'll throw something else out if they need a ballast call. If...if the event should occur that a child will be born aboard the ship, you ought to be ready for it. Frankly, I don't know why Dr. Barlow didn't plan for something like this, but everyone forgets once in a while." He then flung his arms round her in another hug.

"DAMNIT, DERYN! Why the hell didn't you tell me?" he yelled into her back. She felt his tears on her shoulder. She shut her eyes. Then she heard a low, firm statement. "You'd bloody well stay safe Deryn. You bloody well stay safe."

"I'll stay safe Alek," she said, her voice choking a little. "Don't you worry about me."

He pulled away from her and looked her in the eye. "I worry about you every day." With that, he gently pushed her towards the waiting hippoesque drawn carriage.

(X)

Of course, Alek always had to be right about things didn't he? The diplomatic mission had gone perfectly; Dr Barlow's fear of mood swings ruining her diplomacy had been completely unfounded. Deryn had kept her temper through it all. The Committee had exclaimed over her swollen stomach and seemed to indulge her in everything, which was rather nice, but tiring after a while.

The boffins and the politicians had talked a lot and had ever so many feasts and tours but at the end of it all, with the final paper signed, the mission was done and they were to fly back to England.

Jaspert had smirked ever so much when she was finally too large to be able to swing off the ratlines, and Deryn swore to never be pregnant again, just so she would never have to see the cat-that-got-the-cream-smile again on Jaspert's face.

Of course, because Alek had to be right about everything, the baby was early. It was midmorning on January 24th when Deryn felt her water break. She was really rather calm about it all.

"Jaspert?" she'd asked, her voice only rising in pitch a little.

"Yes?" he asked her in return. They had been on the bridge at the time, studying their course.

"The baby's coming. Now." She'd said and ignored the look of shock on the Captain's face. "I need to get the my room. Will you aid me there?" she'd asked, those few weeks, she'd learned to abandon her pride to ease the aching in her legs.

He nodded. As they left, she hollered. "And will someone get the ship's doctor?"

The moment they'd gotten to her room, Deryn had lunged for the changing screen they'd given her and covered the door to the hallway, leaving Jaspert behind it. She then quickly changed into a long flowy dress that would cover her nudity and leave the baby free to come out. She thanked Alek heavily in that moment as she grabbed the extra towels and kettle from her luggage and along with Jaspert, they set her up to give birth. Along with the ship doctor's help and a lot of pain and impressive Navy swearing, a little baby girl was born.

She cried a lot when she was first born, but she was quickly silent afterwards. When Deryn held the little girl in her arms, it was the first time she'd felt anything but a sense of annoyance towards the little baby she'd incubated for 8 months. In fact, it was a sense of awe. She finally understood how Dr Barlow felt about all of her fabrications. There was nothing like the sense of knowing that she had created this creature herself. This living, breathing marvel was from Deryn's own blood and skin and living thread. And maybe now, Deryn felt a sense of sorrow for not sticking at the Royal Zoological Society.

Maybe she would have been able to create better fabrications if she'd truly felt this passion beforehand. Already, Deryn could see ideas for the combination of life-threads, hanging in the air. Her hands twitched to sketch them, as the little girl turned sleepily in Deryn's arms. She would have to ask Alek if he couldn't get her into a lab to try and create a fabrication.

But, as Deryn looked up at Jaspert and handed him her little baby girl, she didn't quite regret all the adventures she'd had. She couldn't deny how much she'd learned from her experiences. Maybe in another world, she'd stayed a zoologist and created beautifully useful fabrications after her daughter was born. But in this one she hadn't. No point in dwelling on it. She just had to move on.

(X)

When Alek had seen her when they landed a week later, he'd been instantly enchanted. Already, the little girl had tufts of small reddish brown hair, and Deryn could see Alek written all over her child's small nose and slightly jutting chin. It seemed the child didn't inherit any of Deryn's sharp angular features, which was a shame, especially, in Jaspert's eyes.

But when the child finally opened her own eyes two weeks later, they were a bright, shimmering blue, the same shade as Deryn's. And Deryn smiled at her lovely little daughter.

(X)

Names were tricky to decide. Alek had wanted to call her Sophie after his late mother. Deryn had mulled over calling her Nora, before deciding it was too stuffy. They had tried many names, both steadfastly refusing Adela. Finally, as Deryn sat with Alek late one night while feeding the girl, a face popped up in her head.

"Alek," she said suddenly, "I saw Lilit again!"

Alek rolled his eyes, he still was slightly bitter about Lilit and her personality. But politely, he asked, "How was she?"

Deryn tilted her head from side to side. "Ish. She's now Ottoman ambassador in the country to help other countries' dignitaries feel comfortable, but she still feels like she's been overlooked a little, because of her gender. She congratulated me on the pregnancy though. She said I deserved a happy life after all that had happened. And she saved my life again." Said Deryn, in a muse.

"WHAT!" said Alek loudly, waking up the little girl. Both Deryn and Alek froze. The girl merely yawned, turned in Deryn's arms and went back to sleep again. Both looked relieved before Alek's face twisted. "You didn't tell me you were in danger again! You said everything went fine!"

"It did go fine!" said Deryn, insistently. "Thanks to Lilit anyway. We were at some state party. I was bored out of my wits making small talk, so I retreated to the garden. I was strolling there when Lilit told me to beware. She said that the security people were uneasy about this whole thing, because the building wasn't properly secure. I told her that nothing would go wrong then there was a gunshot in the main hall, and one of the _Minotaur_ middies went down. He was about my age and blonde. Obviously, no one had told the gunman that I was heavily pregnant. He obviously realised he'd shot the wrong person, because he came towards the garden. Everyone was panicking and running. I was assisting leading people out, I didn't realise he was looking for me until he came up to me. He looked innocent enough until he raised his gun from out of his pocket. Then Lilit, who was flanking the door, burst away from the door, pulled him backwards as she pulled the trigger, which redirected the shot towards the window instead of me. She then hit him upside the head with her shoe to knock him out and apprehended him."

Alek looked horrified. "How did you not tell me ANY of this!"

"I'm telling you now, aren't I?" retorted Deryn. "Anyway, nothing really happened after that. He was some Clanker supporter working alone, out of revenge and they jailed him. Also, baby? Kind of distracting?" she asked.

"Barking spiders," said Alek after a while. He seemed to have adopted that phrase of Deryn's. "We ought to name the baby after her. She saved her life, after all."

Deryn looked uneasy. "I don't know. Lilit isn't exactly a proper European name."

Alek shrugged. "Don't call her Lilit then. Call her a variant of it. Lilia, maybe?"

Deryn nodded. "Lilia, it is then." She gazed down at her little Lilia and stroked the baby's cheek. She was so small, so frail. Deryn wondered if she'd ever looked like this. Pressing a kiss to the little girl's forehead, Deryn placed her back in her cot and leaned on Alek's arm. It had been a long day, and all she needed to do now, was sleep.

**AN: I loved this series of books, they gripped my imagination so much and I loved reading every second of it! I was slightly disappointed with the ending to Goliath, however. I loved Alek giving up his kingdom for Deryn, it just hit the right note, but I did wonder about Austria for a little while. But what I was most frustrated about was the fact that Deryn became a 'boffin'. She was a soldier, through and through, and it didn't sit well with me at all. Alek, sure, even if he was a Clanker, I could see him wanting to learn more about fabrications. But Deryn? Not really. Which is why Deryn is now still a soldier in mine, even thought I stuck to the canon ending (even the bonus chapter!) **

**There are also more chapters forthcoming, in a more drabble-y format and not necessarily in chronological order (I will say Lilia or Deryn's age every time, to make it clear, though). Review perhaps? **


	2. Chapter 2

**Musings of a Mother**

**Chapter 2**

Deryn sighed as she knocked on the table of wood, in frustration. The year was 1925, 6 months after her pregnancy and Deryn had a dilemma. Alek's plan for the commercial airship with Clanker parts had been approved by the Society and by the Government. Deryn had begged to be officially assigned on the project, and surprisingly enough, her request was granted, on the condition that she quietly resigned from being the Captain-Lieutenant of the _Belphegor._

That had been easy enough and working with Alek on a daily basis was like being back on the _Leviathan_ again. However, what was now the trouble was that an important meeting between the Germans and the Society meant that Alek and Deryn needed to go overseas and they couldn't take a small child with them. Alek had tentatively suggested that Deryn might consider the possibility of staying at home. Deryn had snapped and told him that just because she was a girl, didn't mean she always had to be left behind and promptly suggested that he stay behind instead. He's managed to worm his way out of that one, protesting that he was the only one that could be spared and knew German, Austrian and Hungarian.

So now Deryn didn't know who could look after Lilia, because Deryn was not staying at home. Not in the seven blazing hells. She considered Dr Barlow for less than a moment before tossing it away. Dr Barlow could be so single-minded on her task, her daughter would starve and die before Dr Barlow would remember that she was supposed to be taking care of her. And anyway, even if Dr Barlow remembered her daughter, it would be to do something manipulative with her, like bullying the Royal Society into doing something, or dangling her daughter off of a roof to test a new fabrication.

The image made Deryn shudder and rethink where she could put her daughter. Not with Volger, that was for sure. However good at teaching he was, there was a large difference between teaching and parenting. Also, she still wasn't quite trusting of him. He always had an ulterior motive, even if Alek insisted that any ulterior motives were for his protection.

Jaspert had been a large possibility, especially since his wife Miranda had a son, Thomas who was three years older than Lilia. But she had quickly ruled him out as well, seeing as she had unfortunately discovered that all three were on a holiday to Cape Town, in Africa. Why they were going there with a young child, Deryn didn't know, but Miranda was a more trusting woman than Deryn was.

Deryn put her head in her hands. Her circle of people she trusted was tiny. Who could she trust to look after a child, someone who'd done it before and done it _well_ .

The answer came to Deryn moments later and she smacked herself _sharply_, for not thinking about it before.

(X)

Mrs Camille Sharp sighed as Bertha, their new maid struggled with a hamper full of laundry. "Oh, come here!' she said suddenly, fed up of watching her. She rolled up her sleeves and lifted the piles of wet clothes up and out of the back door. She dumped on the ground and started lifting them up one by one and pinning them to the clothes line. The new maid scurried to help and soon between the experienced hands of the Matriarch and shaking, quickly nervous hands of the maid, the laundry was soon finished, in record time.

The maid waited for a few moments. "Well?" asked Camille. "Go! Don't you have work to do?"

The maid nodded before picking up her skirts and scampering into the kitchen, where the far more experienced housemaid Lavinia was cooking. She missed Martha, but everyone died eventually. Just like her husband. Everyone died.

Jillian Sharp pursed her lips as Camille made her way in. "Camille, have some dignity," she said, not stirring from where she sat with her embroidery work and tea. "Pull down those sleeves."

"Well, I'd like to see you do laundry with your sleeves all frilly and the like!" said Mary-Anne Sharp, the younger of the two sisters. Camille wasn't fond of either of the two; both were insufferable when it came to arguments. And they were never of any use. All they did all day was sit and embroider. She didn't know how her husband stood the two sister-in-laws, but he had, and let them stay at the Sharp estate. She knew that Artemis's brothers, Odysseus and Jonathon were both extraordinarily brave, so brave that Odysseus was dead saving a crewmate from an explosion, out in the Boer wars and that Jonathon was currently fighting in India.

Camille curled her lip, rolled down her sleeves and searched through the thin wardrobe for her spare jacket. She would have to do some more gardening today, with the old gardener ill. She rubbed her face. She did wish that the two old bats would get up and do some work for once, but if she expressed her emotions, she would be unladylike. There were times when she too wished she could up and leave the old house. Every corner was filled with memories of Artemis and Jaspert and Deryn.

She wondered sometimes, how Artemis was, up in heaven, with God almighty and Jesus Christ. It sounded childish, but she wondered whether on some days he looked down at his old bitter wife and laughed at her and told her to cheer up. As Camille walked out of the room, she smiled weakly. If Artemis were here, he would have subtly insulted the old hags before gathering her up in his arms and danced around her in a jig. But jigs wouldn't pull weeds out of the garden.

She wondered sometimes how her children were too. Jaspert visited every Christmas, with his wife and lovely child, but she hadn't seen Deryn since she'd gone away those long years ago. She'd heard news from Jaspert who seemed to see her quite often now that Deryn was more likely to be in London, but of course, he couldn't tell her much. Usually they were all too busy, occupied with too many things to have a real chat about her daughter's welfare.

The doorbell rung t that moment and Camille called for Bertha to go and open the door. However, there wasn't the usual scurried response. Camille frowned. The doorbell went off again. She listened carefully and there was a simmering sound and the sound of cursing. Kitchen disasters required concentrating to be left with something edible, but really? Did she have to do everything around here?

Camille opened the door, pulling open all the latches. She was prepared for the minister or some other familiar local face. Instead, she was greeted by a tall blonde woman.

'Ma?" exclaimed the figure in advertant shock and Camille realized, in an almost hazy state, that the blonde woman was her daughter Deryn. She didn't look a thing like Deryn had when Deryn had left her. The young woman in front of her had short cropped hair that barely reached the nape of her neck. Her daughter had owned trussed locks to mid-back. This young woman wore a military uniform, with tie, badge of honour and lapel pins and shiny buttons. Her Deryn wore scuffed dresses and Jaspert's old clothes. This young woman wasn't her daughter. Couldn't be her daughter.

"Deryn?" she asked, hoping for it to not be true.

The girl gave a relieved smile. "Ma." And Camille felt her lips purse, almost unaccording to her will. She felt like Jillian, but this wasn't her daughter! Christ Artemis, if you were listening? This woman wasn't the daughter she had raised. This woman was a wilful, prodigal child coming home. Camille had nothing to do with her upbringing. And somehow this made her smile. Because her daughter wasn't stagnating in some desolate part of Scotland. She was out in London, looking glamorous.

"Listen, Ma," the girl said, "I need your help." The girl didn't get any further, because in that moment, a young man with messy red hair came out of the horsesque carriage. He wore a clanker-like military jacket that matched his green eyes and wore breeches.

He looked desperate as he came up to Deryn. "Deryn," he said. "She's crying again! I don't know what to do." His voice was soft and yet harsh and ragged.

Deryn looked despair filled but at Camille's sharp gaze she quickly introduced him. "Mother, this is my husband, the former Serene Highness of Austria, Alek Hohenburg. Alek, this is my mother, Camille Sharp." The man looked confused at the title but accepted it anyway. Camille didn't feel anything but a sense of euphoria. Beat that, Fate! Her daughter _had_ married after all! And to an ex-prince! Camille wondered about the ex, but kept quiet. Her daughter would reveal all soon enough.

It was then she realised how tired the couple looked. Deryn had red rimmed eyes and the man, Alek had large dark bags under his eyes. "Please Deryn, she won't be quiet." murmured Alek.

It was then that Camille noticed a faint sound of wailing. Deryn bit her lip. "Alek, bring her, would you?" Deryn then turned back to Camille as Alek raced down to the pavement where the carriage was parked.

Camille suspected something, but she daren't hope... "Mam, I really need your help. I can't look after her...and well..."

The boy raced back up the stairs, this time with a little baby cradled in his hands. She had tufts of the boy's red hair yet when Alek handed the little baby to Deryn, Camille saw the bright blue eyes of Deryn, Jaspert and Artemis. The child also had a healthy set of lungs on her. She hadn't stopped crying at all and her face were bright red with this exertion.

Alek looked at Camille despairingly. "She''s fed, clothed, changed...I don't' know why she persists!" Camille merely held out her hands in response and Deryn reluctantly handed over the child to Camille. Camille instantly gripped the baby's arms down and used the finger of her other hand and placed it to the child's lips. The child was quiet. Camille stroked the child's head quietly, humming a song under her breath that she often sung to Jaspert whenever he was restless. The child dropped off the sleep near effortlessly.

Camille looked up to look at a dumbfounded Alek and a Deryn in silent tears of frustration. Alek put his arm around Deryn after he moved out of his shock. "She's been crying the whole way to Scotland, Mrs Sharp. I think you must have magic hands."

"Or we're rubbish parents." said Deryn, her voice shaking with the tears effect. Talking set off her daughter again into a new set of tears.

Camille glared sternly at her daughter. 'Don't you say that Deryn, you're inexperienced parents. Now, how about you come inside, eh?"

(X)

Deryn felt ashamed for the outburst of tears, but Alek said she was overdue it all. She had hid her emotions and feelings about the whole sodden mess through the pregnancy to ensure the treaty and alliance would pass through successfully. She hid it through the baby's first few months to make sure that Alek's collaboration ship idea would pass through without too much ado. She deserved to break down, but Deryn still felt ashamed.

Her mother had led the two of them into her house, after Alek had informed the carriage man that they were staying for the night. Mother had led them into the old living room which was achingly familiar. The same old fabricated furniture was here, albeit, a little shabbier now. The wallpaper was just a beautifully rich in patterns, if a little faded. The only thing that had really changed was her mother.

Even though, at the moment, Ma Sharp was glowed as she held Lilia; Deryn had seen the bone-tired weariness that had fallen over her Ma, when Camille Sharp had first answered the doorbell.

"So, the treaty with the Germans requires Lilia to be left here, but frankly, there is no one else we could trust with a child, apart from you, Mrs Sharp." Deryn could hear Alek finishing their tale of love, drama and adventure, but Deryn's eyes couldn't leave her ma's.

""No one?" asked Ma, looking Deryn in the eyes.

Deryn didn't want to speak though. The lump in her throat was too large, but from a strict glare, originating from her Mother, it vanished. "No Mam, no one who could be trusted to look after a child in any case. We have many a good friend, but they are a little careless and/or not suited for children care."

Her ma looked smug and Deryn almost expected a lecture on how she should have stayed with Ma Sharp here in Scotland, all those years ago. But it never came. "Alright Deryn. I'll look after Lilia, for a price."

Alek looked relieved. "How much money, Mrs Sharp? I'll see that my office in London sends it to you..."

Ma waved Alek away and he stopped mid-phrase looking confused. "Not money, me lad. I want you to visit me. At Christmases! You have no idea how lonely it is here in Scotland, with only the maids ands the two hags for company!"

Deryn suppressed a laugh, all of the main Sharp family hated Aunt Jillian and Aunt Mary-Anne. They were all so grumpy and so useless, it was laughable. But her mother was stuck with them. Deryn felt guilty, she hadn't really thought about her mother at all these past 10 years. It had all been about adventure and Jaspert, and flying and Alek and war and Lilit and Alek. Never a time for the past.

"Of course Ma," said Deryn, feeling herself choke up again. Her poor ma, so lonely here, stuck in this old house, filled with memories of her Da. "Ma?" she asked.

Her Ma looked at Deryn with a smile. "Yes, Deryn dear?"

"Why don't you move house?" asked Deryn.

Her ma looked confused. "Deryn?"

"Move house. Leave Scotland. Come to London! Or to Wales! Even Ireland, if you really want. Why stay here, this old house? This old place? Where Da's ghost lurks in corners? Why stay here?"

Alek looked a little awkward, so she leant on his shoulder as she watched her Ma's face twist into something old and pained. "Well Deryn," said her ma, after a while of silence. "I think it's because I have nowhere else to go. I don't know the first thing about buying another house, nor do I know how to manage to money well enough to pay mortgage. You young 'uns have it all so easy, the whole world spread out in front of you, yours to savour, yours to take. You have all the talents and the youth and the optimism to make it all work, despite the false starts. When you get older Deryn, you don't have that talent anymore. It all falls to pieces, no one wants to trade with you. No one wants to remarry you. And maybe I want to torture myself Deryn. This house is filed with your Da. With Artemis. I suppose I think that if I stay here, maybe one day he'll come back to me. Either way, its just easier Deryn. It's easier, but sadder to stagnate."

Deryn merely looked at her mother; Mother had never been this honest with her about anything. Her mother had always been like a clam, unwilling to let her emotions show. Now she was letting it all free. Deryn wondered whether her presence had instigated it. "And Deryn," her mother added, "I may have resented it when you left, but it's best that you did leave this house. Or you would have been stuck in this endless cycle of self-hatred and sluggishness. You Sharps were never meant for that. Go live your life, Deryn. I'll stay her and your daughter will too. And when you're ready, she'll be waiting for you to take her home. She won't love her Grandma Sharp; she probably won't even appreciate her, but she'll stay here and she'll obey."

Deryn felt tears ripple off her nose and she knew that Alek was crying too. Her mother was so frail and so very very old as she said those few words. "Ma..."

Her mother straightened and whatever urge had come over Camille Sharp that had divulged Deryn with all of her Mother's inner workings disappeared, replaced with a fake, cheery bright smile. "Now Deryn. To discuss sleeping arrangements! How long will you be staying?"

Deryn let Alek answer as she subtly wiped off the tears from her face. Her Mother wanted her to move on, so she would. She wouldn't forget her mother again though. Not on her life. Now she looked at it, Deryn Sharp admired her Mother so much more for clinging on and staying straight-backed when her after died. Deryn hadn't spoken for a month and had hidden in her room. Her mother had stayed tall, presented and hosted parties, all while her heart broke. Deryn felt that her mother deserved a medal for remaining, but it was a medal that wasn't forthcoming.

That night, as she and Alek cuddled in bed, to have a blissfully quiet night's sleep, Alek told her that he wondered whether his parents would have been as strong as Deryn's mother had been, if they had been faced with the situation Deryn's mother had been. Deryn was hard-pressed to say whether it was true or not, having never met either of the people in question, but Alek admitted that he doubted it. Both of his parents lived lives of luxury. They wouldn't really have coped with the fortitude that Camille Sharp had. And amidst her despair and her sleepless stupor, Deryn felt a distinct sense of pride.

**AN: Umm...depressing? Yes. Not exactly what I had intended. Wow. Camille Sharp is a lot more deep and layer-filled than I had planned. Will the next chapter be funny? After this angst-fest? You betcha! Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciated them!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Musing of a Mother**

**Chapter 3 - First Times for Everything **

**AN: Thanks for all of the brilliant feedback everybody! I'll try to cut out modernisms, I promise!**

**EDIT: This chapter came under a bit of criticism because it isn't very realistic. So here are some edits to the lower half of the chapter. Lots of thanks must go to Julia456 for all her brilliant help with the edits! I am awful at portraying younger children, so all the credit for Lilia must go to her. **

Deryn grinned as Alek pulled her around the room in an ecstatic dance. At 10 months, Lilia was clapping along in the corner and babbling as she did so. She kissed him and he kissed back ferociously as they drew to a halt in the middle of the room.

"It's started, it's started, it's started!" chanted Alek happily and she laughed as they both collapsed onto the sofa.

"The fabrication is being incubated at the moment in Wales." said Deryn, as she straightened her cardigan over her shoulder. "Dr. Barlow said that she'd travel over there especially to make sure it goes well. They have two or three eggs, just in case one dies."

Alek grinned back at her as he drew his hand through his ruffled hair. "The Germans' first shipment of engine parts is coming in a fortnight! We have a bunch of French, German and Indian engineers making their way over too."

"Indian?" asked Deryn, feeling impressed. This was an Empire operation, then. "Can you speak Indian?"

"It's Hindi, the language," said Alek as he slouched into the sofa, "And no, I can't. However, they speak English, which ought to make things easier."

Deryn smiled. Alek's dream seemed to be coming true, finally. "Also, they've dispatched a new set of flechette bats for our ship. I get the pleasure of training them to work properly! Not alone, of course, but the government want me to oversee the military training of the bats, as they put it 'to make sure the bats will do something _useful_'."

At this, Alek frowned. "Flechette bats? We aren't an army vehicle. It's supposed to be a commercial ship. Why would we want weapons?"

Deryn sighed. "What if someone attacks us, Alek? It's a safety precaution. We won't have all of the trained animals that a standard military ship has, but we have to have some kind of weaponry onboard."

He bit his lip, but conceded unhappily. Lilia gurgled again and clapped her hands. Deryn swore as she remembered something.

Alek looked disapproving. "What is it Deryn?"

Deryn felt frustrated. 'Tomorrow, the sitter can't come! Some emergency at home! One of us'll have to take Lilia to work."

Alek sighed. "I would, but tomorrow, the French men arrive at port and I need to take them with me up to their accommodations then to the lower town to buy their equipment."

Deryn winced, the lower half of London wasn't great in its reputation and she was not sending her year old girl down there with a bunch of French engineers. "No, I'll take her, its fine. All I'm doing tomorrow is report making, nothing too difficult. Nothing that will divert my attention too much." said Deryn as she stood up to pick up the babbling child. She wondered what the child talked about sometimes, but as long as she was happy, Deryn wasn't going to stop her.

(X)

Deryn scowled as she stared at the third copy of the same report about inventory stocks. She was sure that her handwriting was deteriorating but she couldn't quite tell. Was it sloping, was it not?

"Something bothering you, _Miss_ Sharp?" came a Clanker accented voice. Deryn turned to glare at Volger who was in the doorway.

"Absolutely nothing, my _dear_ wildcount, I'm just fine!" said Deryn, forcing a smile upon her face. Alek may be fond of the sly man, but Deryn wasn't. In fact, Deryn did feel slightly annoyed at how much she owed him, the infuriating man.

Volger merely smirked in response. "May I ask why the child is attempting to climb the bookcase?" Deryn gasped and turned towards the bookcase. Lilia was pulling books of the shelf willy-nilly and dodging them by a fraction. Deryn burst out of her seat and grabbed the girl out of the danger, getting a heavy book on the head for her troubles. Deryn stopped to breathe for a moment, barking spiders, that had been a close shave!

"I think you need some help. Allow me," said the Count, holding out his arms. Deryn ignored him a little. "She's a very pretty child," he prompted and with a sigh, Deryn relinquished the baby to him.

He held her pensively. "I have looked after three generations of Hohenburgs. Isn't that strange to you, Miss Sharp?" Without stopping to let Deryn answer, he asked another question. "What is the child's name?"

Deryn blinked. "Lilia." She answered rather bemusedly. She was about to say something more when Volger waved impatiently at her and looked at the child in the eyes. Deryn felt skeptical but leant back in her chair.

"Child," he started and Deryn frowned. She had just told him her baby's name for a reason. "My name is Volger. Count Volger. What, is yours?" he said, sharply, his accent barely noticeable. When she gurgled, he tapped her cheek with two of his fingers. "Focus! What is your name?"

And to Deryn's surprise, around a yawn, Lilia answered, "Li'ya!" Deryn felt her heart stop. Didn't children only start talking past a year? She was sure they only started talking past a year. Her child could talk this early?

"Good," said Volger, smirking. He then pointed at Deryn. "Who is that, Lilia?"

"De'n!" said Lilia happily. Deryn felt her eyebrows raise. That was impressive, though she would have to start asking Lilia to call her Mummy or Mam.

As Alek walked past the doorway, Volger asked Lilia, a little louder thanbefore,"'What is his name?"

And she replied, "Ayek!" to her husband's shock. He seemed to freeze, walk backwards and stick his head around the door.

'What?' he mouthed at Deryn and Deryn shrugged, feeling that she would be unable to form words. All she did was point at Volger and her child (who seem to be very advanced for a premature baby of eight months) and shake her head.

Alek merely looked surprised and continued walking. Deryn sighed; had they become so united over the fact that everyone seemed to be able to deal with their baby better than they could?

Volger smirked at Deryn. "How about that? Your daughter is cleverer than I thought. How old is she?"

"Eight months," said Deryn proudly and he looked rather surprised at this. "I presumed that she was older. Very impressive, Miss Sharp. I don't know where she inherits the brains. It certainly isn't from Alek and it's doubtful that they come from you."

Deryn gritted her teeth; bad enough that he seemed to be better at teaching her amazing, brilliant child than she was; now he was outrightly insulting her! Suddenly an idea popped up into Deryn's head. It would ensure that she wouldn't get an iota of the day's work done, but that was what the sleepless nights were for. "How about you improve her talents Volger? You'll try your luck and I'll try my luck! See what kind of things we can teach her, eh?"

A voice in the back of her head told her that she was being ridiculous and that she was certain to lose, but Deryn mused that, even if she lost, the only thing that would be injured would be her pride. Not to mention, during the course of this, her daughter would learn some important skills really quite early. Deryn had no doubt that she would use it as bragging rights later to Jaspert in particular. She could almost imagine his disgruntled frown when he discovered that Lilia was doing things before his three year old son, Thomas.

Volger laughed. "If you're sure, Miss Sharp. Ready when you are then."

(X)

By the end of the day, Volger seemed to have made significant progress with her. She seemed to be able to recognise and name most of the items in the room (with a little bit of prompting) and she seemed to be able to scribble things on a page. It wasn't very recognisable as anything in particular, but Deryn was proud of the scribbled covered page. Deryn, to her credit, had managed to get Lilia to repeat her numbers from 1-10, which Lilia promptly forgot, to Deryn's dismay and Volger's amusement.

Volger had very obviously won this competition, but Deryn had stopped caring about her pride and long time before and had been cheering every time Lilia seemed close to doing something new.

Volger seemed to smile as he lifted Lilia up into his arms. "The real test, Miss Sharp," he said, as she poked his beard, "Is if she remembers how to do any of this tomorrow." Deryn suppressed a smile. That was probably unlikely, but it was nice to hope.

"How is it possible..." asked Deryn, as she picked up her pen again, to commence the writing of her report.

"...that she can learn this much?" asked Volger and Deryn nodded. "A child's mind is like a sponge. Their capabilities are endless before they are fully matured. They say, if you learn something as a child, you will never forget it. In comparison, if you learn something as an adult, you will always forget it."

Deryn frowned, this seemed a little pessimistic for adults, but she didn't doubt that children were quicker at learning. She had experienced it herself; learning English as a child had been easy. Learning Clanker talk as a teen had been fairly easy. Learning Latin as an adult? Near impossible. Alek kept trying to drill the pronouns and verbs into her head, but they barely stuck. He insisted that the language was a necessity for science; even if half the boffins didn't seem to know it, but Deryn had trouble with all of the 'icus' and 'ious' and the pronouns for I and He and She.

"Fine," shrugged Deryn and resumed her writing. She could hear the delighted gurgles of Lilia as she babbled numbers and words at Volger as he tried to teach her how to form some simple sentences.

She smiled as she heard cries of "Mam is veery loris!" and other such strange sentences, that didn't really make sense, but who was Deryn to judge. She still felt slightly incompetent as a new parent, but she would like to see Volger manage to sate Lilia at night when she wanted feeding.

As the day drew to a close, a thought occurred to Deryn "What are you doing here anyway, Volger? What happened to politics? I thought you would be doing something important at parliament?"

He looked at her, a tiny concealed sadness in his face. "I resigned." He said simply.

Deryn scowled, that wasn't good enough. "But you loved politics! Alek said you lived your life for politics and information—"

"And what good has it done for me, Deryn?" With a dull disbelief, Deryn realised it was the first time she had been addressed by her first name. "What have I gained from it? I know so much, yet no one will listen. I can tell you the politics and families and money and inventory of every Austrian family there is, but no one cares. I am old. I have served three generations of Hohenburgs. I have taught and I have manipulated and now I have next to nothing. It was time I slowed down."

Deryn merely watched him. It wasn't a strange motive, everyone needed to slow down and relax sometime in their lives, but it was hard to believe from Volger. "What will you do now?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know," he said, "Go where the wind takes me, I suppose. I have enough money to buy a nice estate in the country. In fact, I already have one picked and the transaction is being processed through. I might hunt or fence or do things as aristocracy in Austria does them."

Deryn frowned. "Aye, but it all seems a little dull to me. Sitting there doing nothing, day in, day out. And there would be no one to talk to."

Volger threw her a look. "What do you mean?"

Deryn put down her pen again and leant forward on her table. "You don't have any family here. You don't have a wife. Really, I can't think of someone you can call a friend apart from Alek and maybe Dr. Barlow. It just seems a little desolate to me, that's all. I know I couldn't stand it if I were in your position."

Volger smirked at her. "So what do you suggest I do, _Miss Sharp_?" he asked, delicately and Deryn knew that he had, probably, guessed her purpose.

"Help me look after Lilia. Teach her like you taught Alek. This commercial airship business leaves me busy and while I'll always have time for her as a person, neither Alek or I will have time to teach her what she needs to know. Neither do we have the knowledge that you do. Be her tutor. Teach her what she wants to know or what you think she needs to know. Fencing, Maths, History, Music, Languages, Politics if you really want to! You'll never be lonely with a child around at the day time and it will slow you down." Deryn spun her point round and round, adding bits and pieces through it.

Really, she couldn't stand Volger, but she would be a fool if she ignored just how much knowledge he had under his disposal. And Alek trusted him, so maybe it was time she did. And he was quite pitiful under it all. Without his work, she found it difficult to give him personality that wasn't sarcastic, and that was a shame indeed. By the increasing smirk on his face, she knew that he understood that she was manipulating him. But he knew the merits...maybe he would accept her offer?

"This is a scheme to not have to a pay a tutor, isn't it?" asked Volger and Deryn laughed. That hadn't occurred to her at all, but now Volger mentioned it, it was a pretty brilliant perk.

Deryn smiled. "You said that you've taught or helped three generations of Hohenburgs. Why not make it a fourth?"

Volger shook his head. "I'm a fool for even considering this, but yes. Why not?"

(X)

Deryn sighed as she looked over the inventory list again, really, they needed more bees and birds to provide the hydrogen the ship would need. But the clerks were being hesitant about handing them over to early 'in case the ship doesn't reach the penultimate stages on planning'. She groaned and threw the papers at the table.

"No need to bother yourself too much about them, Deryn," said Alek as he peered over her shoulder. "It's my ship, not yours. You don't have to tire yourself out for me."

"It's our ship, dummkopf!" said Deryn, "Don't you dare take all the credit! I've done just as much as you, and I've every right to be worried about it as you do! Don't be such a self-sacrificing git!" she finished, turning on him, brandishing her finger.

He backed away, hands held in the air, looking alarmed. "Alright Deryn! No need to explode! I just don't want you wearing yourself to the ground! Work isn't everything!"

"It is for Volger," muttered Deryn, rolling her eyes.

Alek sat himself down next to her. "On the subject of Volger, what's this I hear about him tutoring Lilia? I thought you didn't like him?"

Deryn rolled her eyes. "Aye, of course I don't like him! God knows how many times he's tried to blackmail me! But I'd be a right proper fool if I didn't acknowledge that he's the best. He's clever and he's a damn sight better at teaching my daughter than I am!"

Alek looked annoyed. "I know! I know! Everyone's better at looking after Lilia than we are!" He slumped unto the table's surface.

Deryn looked despaired. 'The thing I want to know Alek, is why. Are we that hopeless at looking after a child?"

Alek shrugged. "I can't be certain, but I have a theory."

Deryn turned to look at him. "Aye then, have at it. Why is everyone better than us at looking after Lilia?"

"It's because everyone we know and trusts that are in London are all older than us or more experienced. Dr. Barlow's already had children, Jaspert has already been through it with Thomas, Your ma has _definitely_ got experience and Volger has tons of experience looking after the Hohenburg family. Namely, me."

Deryn looked up to protest that it wasn't true but paused. He was right after all. Everyone they trusted were older than them. The only two that were Alek and Deryn's age were Lilit and Newkirk and they were worlds away doing, who knew what! "We're hopeless Alek. How do we not have proper friends our age?"

Alek cracked a smile. "It's not exactly like either of us had conventional upbringings!" he said, "I was training to be a prince; there weren't many people I _could_ be friends with and you were an airman in the making! Jaspert's always going on about you always used to study."

Deryn smirked; Jaspert had always been a little sour that his baby sister was better at airmanship than he was. "I suppose we're just a little barmy."

Alek put his arm around her shoulders. "In any case, it's not like we don't need the help. I think we should just accept it all. She our daughter, and I want her to be looked after. "

Deryn nodded. "I don't know Alek. I do want that satisfaction of being able to look after her, though. I can't see myself just sitting there and letting Volger do all the work. Maybe we should just wait. They were all inexperienced, once upon a time. We'll gain the knack soon. And we're getting there! It's better than it was the first few months!"

Alek looked unsure for a moment. "It's not the best environment for a child to grow up in, is it? Our house? A place where she gets more attention from her tutors and her grandmother than she does from us?"

Deryn frowned. "She won't be short on love, though. She must know that you and I love her with all of our hearts! The airship is important as well! And we have her in the evenings. Granted, it's not much, but as she grows up, she'll be easier to look after and she'll understand more that we have so much to do. And as long as she knows that we love her, it should be okay. You turned out all right, didn't you?"

Alek smiled. 'That I did, Deryn. That I did." He kissed her and the papers were abandoned for the rest of that night.

(X)

The first time that Lilia decided that she would walk was a funny experience. It was a month after Volger had decided to teach her and Volger had stiffly informed her that while Lilia was quickly picking up things like talking and counting, she seemed to be stubborn about walking. Volger said that while she had occasionally staggered to her feet and toppled over, never once had she even attempted to move from her position. Volger said that he had tried to tempt her into moving and even threaten her into moving (Deryn had been considerably angry about that one) but nothing had worked. Deryn being Deryn decided to take that as a challenge. So far, all she and Alek were doing for the airship, was waiting; waiting on people and parts, so Deryn decided she'd take the day off.

Lilia was in her crib that morning, just after Deryn had fed her. At 11 months, she was slightly chubby and a babbler. She just didn't stop talking, either some weird cooing sounds, the odd word or two, or as it mainly consisted of; numbers.

"Nine, Free, Fifty-Eigh', Seventy One, Then, Thwelve, Fish!" she gabbled as Deryn picked her up and cuddled her. Lilia laughed and poked Deryn's face. Deryn screwed up her nose and scruffled-up Lilia's small tufts of red hair, before placing her on the floor. She sat there and looked expectant. Deryn couldn't think what her daughter mitgh want to be persuaded to try and move, so she tried item number one.

Deryn held the large teddy bear that Jaspert had bought for Lilia, around a metre away and said. "Come and get it." She was sure a lot of parents resorted to crude cooing and baby talk, as was demonstrated by many who stopped to comment on how pretty Lilia was, but Deryn didn't really see the point, especially considering her daughter seemed to understand what was being told to her. Her daughter merely stared back at her in surprise.

"Concentrate Lilia! Come and get it!" Her daughter ignored her in favour of sucking her thumb and poking her toes. Obviously the teddy bear was not nearly interesting enough. Scratch that. Item 2 it was then.

Deryn retrieved the colourful book that Volger informed her, was one of her daughter's favourites. Maybe this would persuade her daughter to shift from her place. "Lilia! Here's your book! Don't you want to walk and get it!"

Her daughter this time pulled a face and blew a raspberry. Deryn's eyebrows rose, where had she learned that? "That's not nice, Lilia. Say sorry, at once." said Deryn brusquely.

Her daughter looked confused, bowed her head and said "So'y," with her eyes getting large and looking at Deryn imploringly. Now Deryn knew that wasn't an accident or something natural. Volger was the only explanation.

"Properly, Lilia." She said.

"Sorry." She spat, in a perfect imitation of Deryn's accent before resuming to suck her thumb.

Deryn sighed. Her daughter's attitude had problems. Deryn was sure she'd only been this petulant at seven or eight, not at 11 months. Brilliant, her daughter was becoming a teenager early. A little too early for Deryn's liking.

"What do you like then, Lilia? Huh?" Deryn asked, plopping herself down next to her daughter.

Her daughter leant on her and snuggled into her side. Deryn ruffled her daughter's hair again, before grabbing her sketchbook from the table next to her. She had been sketching the Clanker parts that had come into the house, previously. A whole shipment had just been dumped at their townhouse, much to the despair of Alek who was still trying to get someone to transfer them down, to where the engine was actually being built. With her pencil, she grabbed a spare gear that she had stolen from the shipment. After all, who would miss one gear, when there were several thousands like it amongst the many things that had been delivered?

Deryn focused her energy down the pencil and started shading the gear, seeing how the light played on it and how it created that smooth shiny edge. The twitching at her side stopped and Deryn looked her daughter who seemed entranced by the gear. The girl snatched at it but Deryn smirked and pulled it out the girl's grasp.

She then walked around a metre away and said "If you want it, come and get it."

Her daughter stared at Deryn cantankerously before crawling over. But Deryn merely moved backwards again. Her daughter threw her a look of clear dislike before she wobbled to her feet and started waddling over, tripping over her feet every now and then. Deryn didn't move to help her, instead stood exactly where she was until her daughter's pudgy hand grabbed at the gear and Deryn did nothing to impede her progress. Lilia, to Deryn's surprise didn't immediately start sucking the gear like assumed. Instead, Lilia just looked at it before hugging it, to Deryn's bemusement.

"Well done, Lilia!" Deryn said with a wide grin, picking her daughter up and holding her close. "Aye, I do believe Volger was wrong. Looks like all you needed was a little incentive!"

Her daughter giggled. "C'anker Voger! Pwetty wheel! Fish!" Deryn laughed and pulled her daughter up again. Maybe Lilia could be persuaded to repeat her little success.

Alek and Volger had been surprised when Deryn had smugly told them that she had managed to get their daughter walking. Neither of them questioned it but Alek laughed and Volger looked interested in the story. Instead, Deryn tapped a finger to her nose. She was going to keep some of her Lilia handling secrets to herself.

**AN: Thanks for all of the favourites and alerts! I'm so glad that I got such enthusiastic feedback! Please do continue to review, I love constructive criticism! Okay, because I got some anonymous reviews, here are all the replies below:**

**SassySplash: Thank you for your review! I didn't really intend for Camille to come out like Deryn, but that's your interpretation of it! I know that I couldn't quite bring myself to make her unsympathetic like she was portrayed by Deryn in the books. And could you tell where-abouts the commas are missing?**

**BarkingLizards: I was actually unaware supervised abortion came out that early. I was under the impression it was fully developed to be as safe as it is today, in the 1950s, around the time of Thalidomide (even though Thalidomide was a disaster). I knew it had been around since the Chinese dynasties in the 11th and 12th centuries and later after that, but I was pretty sure it was never really safe until the 50s. I might just leave it like it is and say that Dr. Barlow is slightly behind the times considering abortions, seeing as she's already had her children and doesn't plan on having any more. Also , Margaret was in America, and while I'm sure that in the world of Leviathan, the world seems a much smaller place, it would still be difficult for the daily goings on to be passed around. **

**Thanks for reviewing however, I'm glad you enjoyed it!**


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